Excerpts from my PDT journal

"Who would you rather do: Jack Nicholas or Meg Ryan"
"Meg Ryan. ...Well wait, Jack Nicholas now, or from back in the day?"

"Check out these bitches right here. You need those. Without them, you're fuckin fucked."
- An instructor refering to the carotid arteries

"Irritable bowel syndrome?"
- Ramey's reply to a question about muscle types

"Sweet Tarts? Sweet Tarts are nothing but artificial colors and bullshit."




16JULY

There are 160 of us currently sharing one bathroom and two washing machine/dryers. We were told we were allotted two of them, but the key was nowhere to be found for the last few days, so last night I took it upon myself to get it open. It took climbing a wall and unscrewing the frame to a window to get in, and then dropping down into a darkened shower area, but I got it unlocked. Now everyone from the two classes sharing that one latrine were pretty stoked. We finally had our two latrines open for use! No more long lines to shave, shower, and use the toilet! Everyone was happy! Everyone that is, except for an E-7 from another unit that was pissed we were now using "his" latrine. Somehow the multiple requests for the key were ignored for the past week and he just happened to never be able to find it. As soon as we got the latrine open he somehow was able to find the key, re-lock the latrine, and declare it only to be used by him and the six soldiers in his class (that haven't showed up yet, and won't for two weeks). He ran right away over to the CQ now that people were able to get in, and signed for it so now it's "his." I can see how he'd be mad though. I mean, he has six people that need to use that latrine. We only have 160. There's no possible way to share it, it might get overused by the other people that might come and abuse the new facilities. And it has nice shower heads that could somehow get worn out if any more than six people (that haven't showed up yet, and won't for two weeks) were to use them every day. And twelve sinks for half of our class to share? No... it'd be better to let his six people (that haven't showed up yet, and won't for two weeks) have elbow room so they can get ready faster in the morning. Best to just let them use it while the rest of us share our one latrine. Blue Falcons Fly high, hooah?


17JUL

Williams and I spent most of our class time up till lunch drawing pictures in our notebooks and coming up with new awards the Army should give out. Rather than give all these Medical Companies and Brigade Support Battalions getting blanket Combat Medical Badges, we came up with a new one for them. The CMB is an award given for giving medical treatment WHILE ASSIGNED TO AND IN SUPPORT OF AN INFANTRY UNIT while under fire. Medical Co's rarely do that, and BSB's never do, ever. But there they are, wearing CMB's on their chest like they earned them, taking advantage of a loophole that allows them to degrade the significance of that award. To stop that practice, Williams came up with the Combat Vial Sign Award. To receive this award, you must be working in a Combat Surgical Hospital, Battalion Aid Station or other like facility AND working on a patient, while receiving direct or indirect enemy fire within two miles of your location. Promotion point value will be the same as the CMB and CIB and will be worn with the ACU uniform, since promotion and uniform candy are what primarily concerns a BSB soldier when it comes to awards. They don't need to mean anything, they just have to be worth points and look cool.

I spent my time sewing PFC rank onto my patrol cap which is kind of a laughable thing to do since you don't stay a PFC long enough to really take the time to make anything on your uniform permanent, but I wanted to anyway. It's more comfortable than the pin on ones that stab into your forehead when you put your cover on. I also came up with a way of equating the levels of medical response to the Army's rank system. Lay Rescuers as E-1's, First Responders as E-2's, EMT-Basics as E-3's, etc. And now it's lunch and I'm back at the hutment cause the line for chow is way too long, and it's way too hot to stand in the sun for the same food we've had for lunch the past three days in a row. The only good thing about chow is Ms. Reyes, the only attractive DFAC worker I've ever seen. She makes everyone's day better.


20JUL

I went to sickcall today to get my eyes looked at even though it was a Sunday and they had to call an ophthalmologist in. The thing I really love about the military is that if someone's got a problem, there's someone, somewhere who can be ordered to take care of it. And most people just generally want to help you. Only one doctor needed to be there, and that's only after I told him it could wait and that he didn't need to come in on a Sunday morning. But two ended up coming there and giving me a full exam and getting me back on the right plan for my eyes. Good stuff.

So today was easy. It's sunday. I'm in the National Guard. We had a PT formation, but that's all... no actual PT was done this morning. After the PT formation was breakfast, a nap, sickcall, a couple hours of class, and then more chow and now I'm done for the day. Oh, and me and Williams at lunch at BAMC, a place renowned for it's excellent food. However, it was Sunday, and their DFAC only had chicken and meatloaf, same as ours has had since we got here... go figure. It was actually hilarious at the time. No matter where we go, the food is the same, and Whiskeys get treated like crap. Hooah. :)


26 July

It's actually been somewhat busy lately. We went through all of our Combat Medic Advanced Skills Training (CMAST) in a matter of days and now the next four days we spend out in the field running missions and proving we actually know what our test scores say we do.

Our Platoon Sergeant, SFC Bennett, has his name stenciled on his tan undershirt we all wear with our ACU's. It's not standard practice, so no one else in the unit had their names on their's so we decided to just do one of those random things Army guys do for fun. We all stenciled the first letter of our last name followed by BENNETT on our undershirts. So, mine said R. BENNETT, Feichtinger's said F. BENNETT, etc. When we got to class we took our seats and took off our ACU tops and eventually Bennett noticed what was going on. He started talking to SSG Allen and after a second SSG Allen called, "Sergeant Bennett's, ON YOUR FEET!" All of the 161 stood up and started laughing while the rest of the class looked around not really sure what was going on. Bennett found it funny, but told us we could stay standing for a while. So we remained on our feet and once class started the instructor got up from and said, "I see some of you have decided to stand this morning. If you're going to remain standing, move to the back of the class so everyone else can see." We were apparently going to be standing for quite some time so we moved to the back and side of the class. After the first hour of class Bennett had SSG Allen form us up outside and had us do some push-ups while he video taped it.

This is the Army, and we know how to entertain ourselves with the most random, seemingly innocuous activities when bored. It was all hilarious, and I love that my unit has that kind of bond and sense of... whatever. The other units here are kinda boring and not real tight. I honestly think that as far as enlisting in the Guard goes, I'm in the best unit possible. Both with the medic platoon I'm actually organic to, and the infantry line unit I'm assigned to.

Also, myself and Williams decided that if we don't get gear issued to us by the end of AT in Yakima coming up, we're just going to wear stuff from WWII. Old helmets, IV fluids in glass bottles, and we're going to carry M1 Garand rifles. My only complaint about anything related to the military/deployment is that supply for HHC 1-161 IN (CAB) can't get things right and basically don't do their job. Over ten months with this unit and Supply has managed to lose my requests four times, and doesn't do a thing to correct it. Wonder how they'd feel if instead of treating them for traumatic wounds I just let them wait for ten days, and then forgot about them in between? I depend on them do do my job, and they don't seem to care. Worthless.