There is a regulation regarding my ability to post my thoughts and experiences on a blog, therefore I will no longer be updating this blog while deployed. Army Regulaton 350-1 "Operations Security" sets forth rules I am bound by oath to follow. Today I was informed my blog needed to be reported to my chain of command so that S-2 (Military Intelligence section) can approve and monitor what I post, and I am now remedying any problems that may have arisen out of things I have posted. I do so willingly, and was not ordered to remove posts or delete my blog. I could take a class, probably sit through a Power Point Presentation, and then continue blogging as I have, however I feel it insults my intelligence, and as such choose to not blog on this forum any longer. I will still send personal E-mails as I have been as they are not covered by AR 350-1.
Army personnel must “consult with their immediate supervisor and their OPSEC (Operations Security) Officer for an OPSEC review prior to publishing or posting information in a public forum,” according to the new regulation. “This includes, but is not limited to letters, resumes, articles for publication, electronic mail (e-mail), web site postings, Web log (blog) postings, discussion in Internet information, forums, discussion in Internet message boards or other forms of dissemination or documentation.”
In no way does every blog post/update a Soldier makes on his or her blog need to be monitored or first approved by an immediate supervisor and OPSEC officer. After receiving guidance and awareness training from the appointed OPSEC officer, Soldiers are entrusted to practice OPSEC when posting in a public forum. Soldiers who blog about non-military topics would not have to declare their blogs or go through OPSEC training. In addition, personal email does not need to be cleared in advance. I for one don't think I need a class to teach me what I need to keep to myself when it comes to operational security.
Soldiers do not have to seek permission from a supervisor to send personal E-mails. Personal E-mails are considered private communication. However, AR 530-1 does mention if someone later posts an E-mail in a public forum containing information sensitive to OPSEC considerations, an issue may then arise. Family members and friends cannot be mandated by commanders to practice OPSEC, but that they should be aware of OPSEC issues so that they can help safeguard potentially critical and sensitive information.
I don't blog critical and sensitive information. If something is classified, I don't discuss it, refer to it, or hint at my awareness of it. That is already a Federal criminal offense for civilians, and a court-martial offense for Soldiers. If something is a part of EEFI, I don't talk about it either. I don't discuss Tactics, Techniques, and Procedures. I don't talk about mission timing or planned operations, or how we react to IED strikes, or where the latest mortar rounds impacted, other than in the most general of terms.
I go one step further, in that I don't air dirty laundry on the damn internet. This is a public forum. While I am operating in my capacity as a citizen of the United States of America, not in my official capacity as a Non-commissioned Officer in the United States Army, I still abide by Articles 89, 91 and 134 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice.
I do not wish to have to have everything I write related to my military experiences reviewed by someone sitting in a TOC or Battalion level office; someone approving what I can and can't say, as if I don't have the common sense to not give away vital information that keeps ME and MY SOLDIERS safe on a daily basis. As if the people we're fighting, who build EFPs aimed so precisely they can choose which passenger they kill with their attacks, and know when and where to exploit our obvious weaknesses need to read my blog to figure out how we operate. So again, I made the choice to stop publishing my blog after hearing my options.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Excerpts from my PDT journal
"Who would you rather do: Jack Nicholas or Meg Ryan"
"Meg Ryan. ...Well wait, Jack Nicholas now, or from back in the day?"
"Check out these bitches right here. You need those. Without them, you're fuckin fucked."
- An instructor refering to the carotid arteries
"Irritable bowel syndrome?"
- Ramey's reply to a question about muscle types
"Sweet Tarts? Sweet Tarts are nothing but artificial colors and bullshit."
16JULY
There are 160 of us currently sharing one bathroom and two washing machine/dryers. We were told we were allotted two of them, but the key was nowhere to be found for the last few days, so last night I took it upon myself to get it open. It took climbing a wall and unscrewing the frame to a window to get in, and then dropping down into a darkened shower area, but I got it unlocked. Now everyone from the two classes sharing that one latrine were pretty stoked. We finally had our two latrines open for use! No more long lines to shave, shower, and use the toilet! Everyone was happy! Everyone that is, except for an E-7 from another unit that was pissed we were now using "his" latrine. Somehow the multiple requests for the key were ignored for the past week and he just happened to never be able to find it. As soon as we got the latrine open he somehow was able to find the key, re-lock the latrine, and declare it only to be used by him and the six soldiers in his class (that haven't showed up yet, and won't for two weeks). He ran right away over to the CQ now that people were able to get in, and signed for it so now it's "his." I can see how he'd be mad though. I mean, he has six people that need to use that latrine. We only have 160. There's no possible way to share it, it might get overused by the other people that might come and abuse the new facilities. And it has nice shower heads that could somehow get worn out if any more than six people (that haven't showed up yet, and won't for two weeks) were to use them every day. And twelve sinks for half of our class to share? No... it'd be better to let his six people (that haven't showed up yet, and won't for two weeks) have elbow room so they can get ready faster in the morning. Best to just let them use it while the rest of us share our one latrine. Blue Falcons Fly high, hooah?
17JUL
Williams and I spent most of our class time up till lunch drawing pictures in our notebooks and coming up with new awards the Army should give out. Rather than give all these Medical Companies and Brigade Support Battalions getting blanket Combat Medical Badges, we came up with a new one for them. The CMB is an award given for giving medical treatment WHILE ASSIGNED TO AND IN SUPPORT OF AN INFANTRY UNIT while under fire. Medical Co's rarely do that, and BSB's never do, ever. But there they are, wearing CMB's on their chest like they earned them, taking advantage of a loophole that allows them to degrade the significance of that award. To stop that practice, Williams came up with the Combat Vial Sign Award. To receive this award, you must be working in a Combat Surgical Hospital, Battalion Aid Station or other like facility AND working on a patient, while receiving direct or indirect enemy fire within two miles of your location. Promotion point value will be the same as the CMB and CIB and will be worn with the ACU uniform, since promotion and uniform candy are what primarily concerns a BSB soldier when it comes to awards. They don't need to mean anything, they just have to be worth points and look cool.
I spent my time sewing PFC rank onto my patrol cap which is kind of a laughable thing to do since you don't stay a PFC long enough to really take the time to make anything on your uniform permanent, but I wanted to anyway. It's more comfortable than the pin on ones that stab into your forehead when you put your cover on. I also came up with a way of equating the levels of medical response to the Army's rank system. Lay Rescuers as E-1's, First Responders as E-2's, EMT-Basics as E-3's, etc. And now it's lunch and I'm back at the hutment cause the line for chow is way too long, and it's way too hot to stand in the sun for the same food we've had for lunch the past three days in a row. The only good thing about chow is Ms. Reyes, the only attractive DFAC worker I've ever seen. She makes everyone's day better.
20JUL
I went to sickcall today to get my eyes looked at even though it was a Sunday and they had to call an ophthalmologist in. The thing I really love about the military is that if someone's got a problem, there's someone, somewhere who can be ordered to take care of it. And most people just generally want to help you. Only one doctor needed to be there, and that's only after I told him it could wait and that he didn't need to come in on a Sunday morning. But two ended up coming there and giving me a full exam and getting me back on the right plan for my eyes. Good stuff.
So today was easy. It's sunday. I'm in the National Guard. We had a PT formation, but that's all... no actual PT was done this morning. After the PT formation was breakfast, a nap, sickcall, a couple hours of class, and then more chow and now I'm done for the day. Oh, and me and Williams at lunch at BAMC, a place renowned for it's excellent food. However, it was Sunday, and their DFAC only had chicken and meatloaf, same as ours has had since we got here... go figure. It was actually hilarious at the time. No matter where we go, the food is the same, and Whiskeys get treated like crap. Hooah. :)
26 July
It's actually been somewhat busy lately. We went through all of our Combat Medic Advanced Skills Training (CMAST) in a matter of days and now the next four days we spend out in the field running missions and proving we actually know what our test scores say we do.
Our Platoon Sergeant, SFC Bennett, has his name stenciled on his tan undershirt we all wear with our ACU's. It's not standard practice, so no one else in the unit had their names on their's so we decided to just do one of those random things Army guys do for fun. We all stenciled the first letter of our last name followed by BENNETT on our undershirts. So, mine said R. BENNETT, Feichtinger's said F. BENNETT, etc. When we got to class we took our seats and took off our ACU tops and eventually Bennett noticed what was going on. He started talking to SSG Allen and after a second SSG Allen called, "Sergeant Bennett's, ON YOUR FEET!" All of the 161 stood up and started laughing while the rest of the class looked around not really sure what was going on. Bennett found it funny, but told us we could stay standing for a while. So we remained on our feet and once class started the instructor got up from and said, "I see some of you have decided to stand this morning. If you're going to remain standing, move to the back of the class so everyone else can see." We were apparently going to be standing for quite some time so we moved to the back and side of the class. After the first hour of class Bennett had SSG Allen form us up outside and had us do some push-ups while he video taped it.
This is the Army, and we know how to entertain ourselves with the most random, seemingly innocuous activities when bored. It was all hilarious, and I love that my unit has that kind of bond and sense of... whatever. The other units here are kinda boring and not real tight. I honestly think that as far as enlisting in the Guard goes, I'm in the best unit possible. Both with the medic platoon I'm actually organic to, and the infantry line unit I'm assigned to.
Also, myself and Williams decided that if we don't get gear issued to us by the end of AT in Yakima coming up, we're just going to wear stuff from WWII. Old helmets, IV fluids in glass bottles, and we're going to carry M1 Garand rifles. My only complaint about anything related to the military/deployment is that supply for HHC 1-161 IN (CAB) can't get things right and basically don't do their job. Over ten months with this unit and Supply has managed to lose my requests four times, and doesn't do a thing to correct it. Wonder how they'd feel if instead of treating them for traumatic wounds I just let them wait for ten days, and then forgot about them in between? I depend on them do do my job, and they don't seem to care. Worthless.
"Meg Ryan. ...Well wait, Jack Nicholas now, or from back in the day?"
"Check out these bitches right here. You need those. Without them, you're fuckin fucked."
- An instructor refering to the carotid arteries
"Irritable bowel syndrome?"
- Ramey's reply to a question about muscle types
"Sweet Tarts? Sweet Tarts are nothing but artificial colors and bullshit."
16JULY
There are 160 of us currently sharing one bathroom and two washing machine/dryers. We were told we were allotted two of them, but the key was nowhere to be found for the last few days, so last night I took it upon myself to get it open. It took climbing a wall and unscrewing the frame to a window to get in, and then dropping down into a darkened shower area, but I got it unlocked. Now everyone from the two classes sharing that one latrine were pretty stoked. We finally had our two latrines open for use! No more long lines to shave, shower, and use the toilet! Everyone was happy! Everyone that is, except for an E-7 from another unit that was pissed we were now using "his" latrine. Somehow the multiple requests for the key were ignored for the past week and he just happened to never be able to find it. As soon as we got the latrine open he somehow was able to find the key, re-lock the latrine, and declare it only to be used by him and the six soldiers in his class (that haven't showed up yet, and won't for two weeks). He ran right away over to the CQ now that people were able to get in, and signed for it so now it's "his." I can see how he'd be mad though. I mean, he has six people that need to use that latrine. We only have 160. There's no possible way to share it, it might get overused by the other people that might come and abuse the new facilities. And it has nice shower heads that could somehow get worn out if any more than six people (that haven't showed up yet, and won't for two weeks) were to use them every day. And twelve sinks for half of our class to share? No... it'd be better to let his six people (that haven't showed up yet, and won't for two weeks) have elbow room so they can get ready faster in the morning. Best to just let them use it while the rest of us share our one latrine. Blue Falcons Fly high, hooah?
17JUL
Williams and I spent most of our class time up till lunch drawing pictures in our notebooks and coming up with new awards the Army should give out. Rather than give all these Medical Companies and Brigade Support Battalions getting blanket Combat Medical Badges, we came up with a new one for them. The CMB is an award given for giving medical treatment WHILE ASSIGNED TO AND IN SUPPORT OF AN INFANTRY UNIT while under fire. Medical Co's rarely do that, and BSB's never do, ever. But there they are, wearing CMB's on their chest like they earned them, taking advantage of a loophole that allows them to degrade the significance of that award. To stop that practice, Williams came up with the Combat Vial Sign Award. To receive this award, you must be working in a Combat Surgical Hospital, Battalion Aid Station or other like facility AND working on a patient, while receiving direct or indirect enemy fire within two miles of your location. Promotion point value will be the same as the CMB and CIB and will be worn with the ACU uniform, since promotion and uniform candy are what primarily concerns a BSB soldier when it comes to awards. They don't need to mean anything, they just have to be worth points and look cool.
I spent my time sewing PFC rank onto my patrol cap which is kind of a laughable thing to do since you don't stay a PFC long enough to really take the time to make anything on your uniform permanent, but I wanted to anyway. It's more comfortable than the pin on ones that stab into your forehead when you put your cover on. I also came up with a way of equating the levels of medical response to the Army's rank system. Lay Rescuers as E-1's, First Responders as E-2's, EMT-Basics as E-3's, etc. And now it's lunch and I'm back at the hutment cause the line for chow is way too long, and it's way too hot to stand in the sun for the same food we've had for lunch the past three days in a row. The only good thing about chow is Ms. Reyes, the only attractive DFAC worker I've ever seen. She makes everyone's day better.
20JUL
I went to sickcall today to get my eyes looked at even though it was a Sunday and they had to call an ophthalmologist in. The thing I really love about the military is that if someone's got a problem, there's someone, somewhere who can be ordered to take care of it. And most people just generally want to help you. Only one doctor needed to be there, and that's only after I told him it could wait and that he didn't need to come in on a Sunday morning. But two ended up coming there and giving me a full exam and getting me back on the right plan for my eyes. Good stuff.
So today was easy. It's sunday. I'm in the National Guard. We had a PT formation, but that's all... no actual PT was done this morning. After the PT formation was breakfast, a nap, sickcall, a couple hours of class, and then more chow and now I'm done for the day. Oh, and me and Williams at lunch at BAMC, a place renowned for it's excellent food. However, it was Sunday, and their DFAC only had chicken and meatloaf, same as ours has had since we got here... go figure. It was actually hilarious at the time. No matter where we go, the food is the same, and Whiskeys get treated like crap. Hooah. :)
26 July
It's actually been somewhat busy lately. We went through all of our Combat Medic Advanced Skills Training (CMAST) in a matter of days and now the next four days we spend out in the field running missions and proving we actually know what our test scores say we do.
Our Platoon Sergeant, SFC Bennett, has his name stenciled on his tan undershirt we all wear with our ACU's. It's not standard practice, so no one else in the unit had their names on their's so we decided to just do one of those random things Army guys do for fun. We all stenciled the first letter of our last name followed by BENNETT on our undershirts. So, mine said R. BENNETT, Feichtinger's said F. BENNETT, etc. When we got to class we took our seats and took off our ACU tops and eventually Bennett noticed what was going on. He started talking to SSG Allen and after a second SSG Allen called, "Sergeant Bennett's, ON YOUR FEET!" All of the 161 stood up and started laughing while the rest of the class looked around not really sure what was going on. Bennett found it funny, but told us we could stay standing for a while. So we remained on our feet and once class started the instructor got up from and said, "I see some of you have decided to stand this morning. If you're going to remain standing, move to the back of the class so everyone else can see." We were apparently going to be standing for quite some time so we moved to the back and side of the class. After the first hour of class Bennett had SSG Allen form us up outside and had us do some push-ups while he video taped it.
This is the Army, and we know how to entertain ourselves with the most random, seemingly innocuous activities when bored. It was all hilarious, and I love that my unit has that kind of bond and sense of... whatever. The other units here are kinda boring and not real tight. I honestly think that as far as enlisting in the Guard goes, I'm in the best unit possible. Both with the medic platoon I'm actually organic to, and the infantry line unit I'm assigned to.
Also, myself and Williams decided that if we don't get gear issued to us by the end of AT in Yakima coming up, we're just going to wear stuff from WWII. Old helmets, IV fluids in glass bottles, and we're going to carry M1 Garand rifles. My only complaint about anything related to the military/deployment is that supply for HHC 1-161 IN (CAB) can't get things right and basically don't do their job. Over ten months with this unit and Supply has managed to lose my requests four times, and doesn't do a thing to correct it. Wonder how they'd feel if instead of treating them for traumatic wounds I just let them wait for ten days, and then forgot about them in between? I depend on them do do my job, and they don't seem to care. Worthless.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Camp Freakin Bullis
You know you're at Camp Bullis when you have to put on your poker face while on the toilet. Cause you're actually playing poker on the toilet. And the other four guys you're playing with can all see your face. That's right, nothing prepares you for deployment like sitting face to face with other dudes while enjoying a morning constitutional.
And officially, this course is retarded. It's nothing different than AIT except the four month course has been reduces to an 80 hour course over nine days. And the fact that we're already MOS Qualified medics doesn't spare us from being handed a Nasopharengial Airway and being expected to examine it like we've never seen one before. The fact that most of us have put at LEAST one in a live patient before notwithstanding...
Now I love my job in the Army, and I love being in the Army, so let the description of our living conditions here be just that: a description, not complaining. We live in an 18x30 foot hut called a"hutment." I'll post pictures once that's an option. Now, our 12-man "hutment" has eight smoke detectors (yes, eight), and no AC. Not that the AC doesn't work, it just isn't here. Wasn't in the building plans I guess. Concrete floor, bare wood framing, and did I mention the eight smoke detectors? Three on the ceiling, five on the walls. We have cots, so that's good, mattresses here wouldn't have been a good idea. Again, there's no AC, but here are six giant windows that allow the sun to bake everything inside, and two portable fans that blow air around. And two doors to let air flow through. It's a well though out plan. Even the temper tents we slept in at AIT had AC! But no, not here. And the classroom we're in is a seventy year old building that is cooled by two equally old window mounted units. They don't exactly do much to fight the 97 degree heat outside, and the heat created by over 80 soldiers inside. You can't get away from the heat! It's just a constant thing during the day. But at night, sometime around ten when the lights go out it's not too bad. We sleep with the doors at both ends open and all the fans on. It's still so humid you can't help but sweat all night long, but even in all it's deprivitey, I kinda like it. We just sleep on the cots, no blankets at first, but then around two it cools enough to where you can cover yourself with a poncho liner to keep the bugs from biting you. And it's hot/cool enough at night to where the scorpions aren't trying to come in here and snuggle with us, so that's good. Our cell phones don't worky, and only one guy has a laptop that has true wireless internet (which is what I'm using right now, thanks Feichtinger!).
But it's endurable.
Only eighteen days and a wake up. Minus one where we get a half day pass to go into San Antonio. Not to bad. The guys, all us medics being down here, make it great. Last night we played ultimate frisbee for a few hours and got a good workout in the hot sun and had an awesome time. At one point I realized that we were all running around laughing and having fun while wearing our PT uniforms and I made a comment about having seen something like it in a recruiting video and everyone started laughing. It's alright I guess. We get done so early in the day though, it's hard to find something to do the rest of the time but just sit around and sweat. But that's ok...
Just eighteen days and a wakeup.
And officially, this course is retarded. It's nothing different than AIT except the four month course has been reduces to an 80 hour course over nine days. And the fact that we're already MOS Qualified medics doesn't spare us from being handed a Nasopharengial Airway and being expected to examine it like we've never seen one before. The fact that most of us have put at LEAST one in a live patient before notwithstanding...
Now I love my job in the Army, and I love being in the Army, so let the description of our living conditions here be just that: a description, not complaining. We live in an 18x30 foot hut called a"hutment." I'll post pictures once that's an option. Now, our 12-man "hutment" has eight smoke detectors (yes, eight), and no AC. Not that the AC doesn't work, it just isn't here. Wasn't in the building plans I guess. Concrete floor, bare wood framing, and did I mention the eight smoke detectors? Three on the ceiling, five on the walls. We have cots, so that's good, mattresses here wouldn't have been a good idea. Again, there's no AC, but here are six giant windows that allow the sun to bake everything inside, and two portable fans that blow air around. And two doors to let air flow through. It's a well though out plan. Even the temper tents we slept in at AIT had AC! But no, not here. And the classroom we're in is a seventy year old building that is cooled by two equally old window mounted units. They don't exactly do much to fight the 97 degree heat outside, and the heat created by over 80 soldiers inside. You can't get away from the heat! It's just a constant thing during the day. But at night, sometime around ten when the lights go out it's not too bad. We sleep with the doors at both ends open and all the fans on. It's still so humid you can't help but sweat all night long, but even in all it's deprivitey, I kinda like it. We just sleep on the cots, no blankets at first, but then around two it cools enough to where you can cover yourself with a poncho liner to keep the bugs from biting you. And it's hot/cool enough at night to where the scorpions aren't trying to come in here and snuggle with us, so that's good. Our cell phones don't worky, and only one guy has a laptop that has true wireless internet (which is what I'm using right now, thanks Feichtinger!).
But it's endurable.
Only eighteen days and a wake up. Minus one where we get a half day pass to go into San Antonio. Not to bad. The guys, all us medics being down here, make it great. Last night we played ultimate frisbee for a few hours and got a good workout in the hot sun and had an awesome time. At one point I realized that we were all running around laughing and having fun while wearing our PT uniforms and I made a comment about having seen something like it in a recruiting video and everyone started laughing. It's alright I guess. We get done so early in the day though, it's hard to find something to do the rest of the time but just sit around and sweat. But that's ok...
Just eighteen days and a wakeup.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
The start
Sitting in the airport right now just waiting for my flight to Seattle which will start off the long trip to Iraq and back. Tonight I'll be flying to Seattle, then at 0400 it's on to Camp Bullis, Texas. I don't know if that's really worth mentioning right now, but I really love the idea of sitting in an airport and being online updating a blog. I've never really had that ability before, but I'm happy that I finally have the technology to be able to do it.
Tomorrow I'll have internet for a while, but after that it'll be pretty sporadic for a while. I'll keep everyone as updated as I can, but there's no real guarantee I'll be able to keep this up for long. Adios...
Tomorrow I'll have internet for a while, but after that it'll be pretty sporadic for a while. I'll keep everyone as updated as I can, but there's no real guarantee I'll be able to keep this up for long. Adios...
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
PDT is coming up quick
While reading it may help to have this page opened in another window for easy reference. Might want to do that for every blog I write :)
Army Acronyms and Expressions.
Just about a week now and I'll be doing Pre-Deploment training at Camp Bullis, TX. Camp Bullis is where we did your final Field Training Exercise (FTX) when I was in AIT last summer. It was hot even during the last week of September when we went, but this time, in July... oh boy. The first two weeks will be classroom instruction just going over things we already learn, but the Army has to fill the block on a checklist saying we know how to perform. That's actually all the next few weeks and months will be. Checking blocks on checklist after checklist all in part of the grander CYA scheme of the Army. Little of it will be actual "training" and I've been told to expect a lot of just straight BS the whole time. We'll see.
The next two weeks will be field training, which if it's anything like AIT was, it means we'll just be doing everything we learned in the classrooms but wearing full battle rattle, outside, all day. It's actually kind of fun once we get to get out there and do stuff. But standing in line in full gear, in the sun, just to walk up and demonstrate you know how to put a tourniquet on a patient is the part I hate. Going out on patrols, running missions, running an aid station, convoys, MOUT... that's the good stuff! Brings back some good memories from AIT...
His name is Robert Paulson
Meet the instructors tomorrow
Past two days were BS
5 More till we're done
6 more till I'm home
These are the first few lines scribbled in a small field journal I kept while out on our final FTX as I learned to become a Combat Medic the last six months.
I didn't write a whole lot on FTX. After a long day of running through the hills in the blistering Texas heat and strength-sapping humidity there wasn't much I had the energy to say. Our days started before the sun came up at about 0345 and ended sometime around 2200 (ten o'clock). We slept in long, air-conditioned tents, and on cots even! But the day's activities were always such that the most you wanted to do was get your gear ready and get your mind right for the next day. Drill Sergeant Blash used to always tell us that... "Getcha minds right 4th platoon... get ya minds right." Pretty much his answer and solution to most of our problems... but good advice.
Each day we did something new. The first day was easy, we just set up our gear, drew weapons from the armory, got issued pro-masks, and learned what was in store for the next eight days. Day two we went out and sent some rounds downrange in a manner that was WAY more lax and fun that during Basic Training. In Basic it seems they're concerned we want to shoot each other, or our mortal enemies, the Drill Sergeants, and was always kind of a pain even though shooting machine guns, M16's, and fully automatic grenade launchers is a lot of fun. For us on FTX though, shooting was awesome. Reflexive fire and Advanced Rifle Marksmanship in a "go out there and shoot some shit up" type environment. Good times.
Day three started our "War Days." These were the four days where we went through scenario based training running a Battalion Aid Station (BAS), going on Patrol, doing MOUT, and conducting Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear, and Explosives (CBRNE) training.
War days ate me up and spit me out. My platoon had BAS the first day. We set up a BAS in a tent in our FOB, sent out security, and then just sat back and waited for casualties to come in from the patrols that were out on missions that day. If you ever see movie "Home of the Brave" and see that scene in the tent hospital... that's what we did (it stars our WA Guard unit even, and was filmed partially in Spokane). Looked and felt the same as you'll see in that movie too: People yelling and screaming, explosions going on outside, people coming in on stretchers moaning and yelling, fighting you to do something or to treat their buddy... crazy stuff. You really do kinda forget it's all make believe cause the people coming into that BAS have to be medically treated with real supplies and treatment. We were putting real needles and fluids into real people. I remember it in flashes mostly... the first few casualties coming in and we had it under control, someone yelling that we had more waiting outside and nowhere to put them, and instructor coming up to the real life patient I was working on and starting to shake the litter as if the patient was having a siezure while I was trying to start an IV in her arm, explosions going off, Rogers in the back calling in 9-line medevac requests over the radio, telling someone they were going to have to wait for treatment cause their injuries weren't immediate concerns, Taul asking over and over where his buddy was as I was tring to find out if he was allergic to any medications so I could start him on pain killers as three other people were working on bandaging his burns and closing a sucking chest wound, running out to the helicopter carrying patients on stretchers and seeing our security element running next to us firing into the woodline, shapes and figures in the trees firing at us and smoke grenades being popped to give us cover as we waited for the helicopters to show up so we could load the patients and get back to the BAS... And before you go, "Holy run on sentence!" I'll stop there... That was BAS, it was exhausting.
That night we had an hour of pulling security on the FOB so I went to sleep at 2345 wearing the same clothes and no shower after a day of running around in 97 degree 100% humidity weather with full battle rattle. I was woken at 0100 for my hour shift and went back to sleep around 0215 and then woke at 0345 to shave, put on camo, down a canteen of water and get to formation by 0415. You do the math. Sleeping wasn't something we did a lot of during the nights on FTX. That day we went on Patrol, so at 0500 we rolled out on foot to a position north of our FOB to recover the crew of a crashed helicopter that was quickly being tracked down by insurgents in the area. All I knew as the team leader/senior medic was on a small slip of paper I was handed in our pre-mission brief:
And that was it. We set out before the sun was up to the sound of Arabic music calling the locals to prayer. Even as we were a couple miles from the FOB the only thing we could hear was that music faintly echoing off the Texas hills that may very well have been Afghanistan for how alien it all felt. We occasionally got shelled by "mortars" and explosions thrown by hidden instructors over our three mile cross country adventure would start going off around us letting us know we needed to hurry and get out of the area at a higher rate of speed. At one point a small group of insurgents opened fire as we got within half a klick of the downed helicopter, but that was quickly taken care of as we returned fire and moved out.
We got to our IRP (staging area) and got ready to send in security to secure the crash site while my two medics went in and got the casualties out. Luckily there were only two casualties, which we pulled from the chopper after a brief firefight with insurgents who were hiding in the woods around the crashed helicopter (yeah, a real crashed helicopter was out there in the middle of no where lol). They were brought back to the IRP and me and my two medics treated them to get them stable for transport. We weren't going to get another helicopter to come into that hot of an LZ so we had to hump them out. As my two junior medics finished up with their patients I got the location of the nearest FOB that, suprise suprise, was at the top of mountain about one klick southwest of us. And I gotta say, that was the worst time in the six months I've been gone. We ran almost two kilometers through the hills, returning fire, carrying patients, reacting to indirect fire... We ran up that last hill. It was less a hill than a 50 degree incline of mountain that never seemed to end. I'm gonna shorten this and just say that by the time we got to the FOB and into their aid tent, I collapsed to the ground and started gasping out what was wrong with the patients on my knees. "Twenty-two yr old male, GSW to the left chest, exit wound, amputation left leg, lacerations left arm and right leg, TBI..." But we did it, we were done. "Alright," said our Instructor, "Twenty minute break and then we go out and do it again. Drink water, eat, rest a bit, we'll have an AAR and then be ready." Which we did. Choked down some food cause we were all starving and the sun had just barely come up so you could make sure there weren't any bugs in your MRE and we just... sat there. Breathing heavy, dripping sweat and guzzling water. Taking stock of equipment for the next run. Talking about what went right and what went wrong. You never really rest... that's important to note. A break isn't a break, it's a chance to catch up to where you should be, or prepare for what's next. I miss that. We were on top of it that day, and I gotta say Stovall was a rockstar that day. He was on point the whole exercise. As in had his stuff together. Some of the medics I graduated with were not of... sufficient caliber to report to a unit and be in charge of anyone's wellbeing. Stovall was, he was awesome. Right at might side when I was trying to make decisions for our little unit and backed me up by just doing what was needed when I said it. I had a great group, and we did well. After that break, we took a turn as defending the base, which was more or less just sitting on top of that hill watching the events go on below and relaxing. Loved it. That was probably my favorite day in the time I was away. I love FTX lol! Just... doing my job instead of sitting in a classroom. I love the challenge and excitement of it all.
Anyway, that was AIT. I don't really know what this PDT is going to be like for sure, but I hope at some point we get out there in the field and do some real training, and aren't just checking off boxes on some checklist.
Army Acronyms and Expressions.
Just about a week now and I'll be doing Pre-Deploment training at Camp Bullis, TX. Camp Bullis is where we did your final Field Training Exercise (FTX) when I was in AIT last summer. It was hot even during the last week of September when we went, but this time, in July... oh boy. The first two weeks will be classroom instruction just going over things we already learn, but the Army has to fill the block on a checklist saying we know how to perform. That's actually all the next few weeks and months will be. Checking blocks on checklist after checklist all in part of the grander CYA scheme of the Army. Little of it will be actual "training" and I've been told to expect a lot of just straight BS the whole time. We'll see.
The next two weeks will be field training, which if it's anything like AIT was, it means we'll just be doing everything we learned in the classrooms but wearing full battle rattle, outside, all day. It's actually kind of fun once we get to get out there and do stuff. But standing in line in full gear, in the sun, just to walk up and demonstrate you know how to put a tourniquet on a patient is the part I hate. Going out on patrols, running missions, running an aid station, convoys, MOUT... that's the good stuff! Brings back some good memories from AIT...
His name is Robert Paulson
Meet the instructors tomorrow
Past two days were BS
5 More till we're done
6 more till I'm home
These are the first few lines scribbled in a small field journal I kept while out on our final FTX as I learned to become a Combat Medic the last six months.
I didn't write a whole lot on FTX. After a long day of running through the hills in the blistering Texas heat and strength-sapping humidity there wasn't much I had the energy to say. Our days started before the sun came up at about 0345 and ended sometime around 2200 (ten o'clock). We slept in long, air-conditioned tents, and on cots even! But the day's activities were always such that the most you wanted to do was get your gear ready and get your mind right for the next day. Drill Sergeant Blash used to always tell us that... "Getcha minds right 4th platoon... get ya minds right." Pretty much his answer and solution to most of our problems... but good advice.
Each day we did something new. The first day was easy, we just set up our gear, drew weapons from the armory, got issued pro-masks, and learned what was in store for the next eight days. Day two we went out and sent some rounds downrange in a manner that was WAY more lax and fun that during Basic Training. In Basic it seems they're concerned we want to shoot each other, or our mortal enemies, the Drill Sergeants, and was always kind of a pain even though shooting machine guns, M16's, and fully automatic grenade launchers is a lot of fun. For us on FTX though, shooting was awesome. Reflexive fire and Advanced Rifle Marksmanship in a "go out there and shoot some shit up" type environment. Good times.
Day three started our "War Days." These were the four days where we went through scenario based training running a Battalion Aid Station (BAS), going on Patrol, doing MOUT, and conducting Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear, and Explosives (CBRNE) training.
War days ate me up and spit me out. My platoon had BAS the first day. We set up a BAS in a tent in our FOB, sent out security, and then just sat back and waited for casualties to come in from the patrols that were out on missions that day. If you ever see movie "Home of the Brave" and see that scene in the tent hospital... that's what we did (it stars our WA Guard unit even, and was filmed partially in Spokane). Looked and felt the same as you'll see in that movie too: People yelling and screaming, explosions going on outside, people coming in on stretchers moaning and yelling, fighting you to do something or to treat their buddy... crazy stuff. You really do kinda forget it's all make believe cause the people coming into that BAS have to be medically treated with real supplies and treatment. We were putting real needles and fluids into real people. I remember it in flashes mostly... the first few casualties coming in and we had it under control, someone yelling that we had more waiting outside and nowhere to put them, and instructor coming up to the real life patient I was working on and starting to shake the litter as if the patient was having a siezure while I was trying to start an IV in her arm, explosions going off, Rogers in the back calling in 9-line medevac requests over the radio, telling someone they were going to have to wait for treatment cause their injuries weren't immediate concerns, Taul asking over and over where his buddy was as I was tring to find out if he was allergic to any medications so I could start him on pain killers as three other people were working on bandaging his burns and closing a sucking chest wound, running out to the helicopter carrying patients on stretchers and seeing our security element running next to us firing into the woodline, shapes and figures in the trees firing at us and smoke grenades being popped to give us cover as we waited for the helicopters to show up so we could load the patients and get back to the BAS... And before you go, "Holy run on sentence!" I'll stop there... That was BAS, it was exhausting.
That night we had an hour of pulling security on the FOB so I went to sleep at 2345 wearing the same clothes and no shower after a day of running around in 97 degree 100% humidity weather with full battle rattle. I was woken at 0100 for my hour shift and went back to sleep around 0215 and then woke at 0345 to shave, put on camo, down a canteen of water and get to formation by 0415. You do the math. Sleeping wasn't something we did a lot of during the nights on FTX. That day we went on Patrol, so at 0500 we rolled out on foot to a position north of our FOB to recover the crew of a crashed helicopter that was quickly being tracked down by insurgents in the area. All I knew as the team leader/senior medic was on a small slip of paper I was handed in our pre-mission brief:
OPFOR: Taliban, company sized element, reinforceable
uniforms vary, equipped w/ Soviet small arms, mortars
In location of AO Warrior with support of 25th & 4th ID
Mission: Deny and support. Recover personnel in downed helicopter
located near grid HN39728177 nicknamed "Ambush Alley." Locate, treat,
evac. You will assign three medics, one RTO. Draw as equipment: 1 Talon,
2 SKEDS, 1 SINCGARS radio, and consider three of your team CLS
qualified.
Signals on freq 30350
Medevac on freq 30500 callsign "Dustoff"
Run password: Grape
Challenge: Control/peace
And that was it. We set out before the sun was up to the sound of Arabic music calling the locals to prayer. Even as we were a couple miles from the FOB the only thing we could hear was that music faintly echoing off the Texas hills that may very well have been Afghanistan for how alien it all felt. We occasionally got shelled by "mortars" and explosions thrown by hidden instructors over our three mile cross country adventure would start going off around us letting us know we needed to hurry and get out of the area at a higher rate of speed. At one point a small group of insurgents opened fire as we got within half a klick of the downed helicopter, but that was quickly taken care of as we returned fire and moved out.
We got to our IRP (staging area) and got ready to send in security to secure the crash site while my two medics went in and got the casualties out. Luckily there were only two casualties, which we pulled from the chopper after a brief firefight with insurgents who were hiding in the woods around the crashed helicopter (yeah, a real crashed helicopter was out there in the middle of no where lol). They were brought back to the IRP and me and my two medics treated them to get them stable for transport. We weren't going to get another helicopter to come into that hot of an LZ so we had to hump them out. As my two junior medics finished up with their patients I got the location of the nearest FOB that, suprise suprise, was at the top of mountain about one klick southwest of us. And I gotta say, that was the worst time in the six months I've been gone. We ran almost two kilometers through the hills, returning fire, carrying patients, reacting to indirect fire... We ran up that last hill. It was less a hill than a 50 degree incline of mountain that never seemed to end. I'm gonna shorten this and just say that by the time we got to the FOB and into their aid tent, I collapsed to the ground and started gasping out what was wrong with the patients on my knees. "Twenty-two yr old male, GSW to the left chest, exit wound, amputation left leg, lacerations left arm and right leg, TBI..." But we did it, we were done. "Alright," said our Instructor, "Twenty minute break and then we go out and do it again. Drink water, eat, rest a bit, we'll have an AAR and then be ready." Which we did. Choked down some food cause we were all starving and the sun had just barely come up so you could make sure there weren't any bugs in your MRE and we just... sat there. Breathing heavy, dripping sweat and guzzling water. Taking stock of equipment for the next run. Talking about what went right and what went wrong. You never really rest... that's important to note. A break isn't a break, it's a chance to catch up to where you should be, or prepare for what's next. I miss that. We were on top of it that day, and I gotta say Stovall was a rockstar that day. He was on point the whole exercise. As in had his stuff together. Some of the medics I graduated with were not of... sufficient caliber to report to a unit and be in charge of anyone's wellbeing. Stovall was, he was awesome. Right at might side when I was trying to make decisions for our little unit and backed me up by just doing what was needed when I said it. I had a great group, and we did well. After that break, we took a turn as defending the base, which was more or less just sitting on top of that hill watching the events go on below and relaxing. Loved it. That was probably my favorite day in the time I was away. I love FTX lol! Just... doing my job instead of sitting in a classroom. I love the challenge and excitement of it all.
Anyway, that was AIT. I don't really know what this PDT is going to be like for sure, but I hope at some point we get out there in the field and do some real training, and aren't just checking off boxes on some checklist.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The PRK experience
So Monday I went in for my PRK surgery. Believe it or not, with all the talk these days of LASIK this and LASIK that, there are other surgeries you can get to correct vision. In my case, I could have gotten LASIK, but chose to go with PRK because the Army won't let you apply for Special Forces if you've had LASIK. To this day it isn't waiverable and it will bar you from application. Now say you're already SF and want to go get LASIK... it's fine. Just can't apply for training if you've had it. It's stupid, but hey, it's the Army.
Another great thing about PRK is that there's no flap cut in your eye. The doc scrapes off the top layer of your eye called the epithelium and then uses the laser and lets your eyes regrow the epithelium over the treatment site. After it's healed it's like nothing ever happened to the eye. Below I'll go through the days and how I'm doing each day...
DAY 0
The day of surgery... it kinda sucked. But I was so happy to be able to see I didn't really care! Soon as the laser stopped firing at my right eye all I could see was a hazy whiteness with points of light in it; like if you held a sheet up to your eyes and tried looking through it. But as soon as the doctor flushed my eyes with water to remove any tissue that was still on the surface I could see the ceiling perfectly! Sharper than I'd been seeing after a few weeks of glasses even! It was amazing! The doc and technicians joked that they could see my heartbeat in my temple, chest, and neck, I was so nervous just trying to focus on that blinking light and when the laser started firing it became near impossible for me to see. I knew the laser would shut off and was tracking my eye, but it still scared me.
So after the surgery the doc had a few words for me and then I was off to the post op nurse who put some more drops in my eye and explained how to take care of my eyes for the next few days. She had to stop and correct herself a lot cause most everyone who goes through there has LASIK, and the post op care differs a little. But then she put in a couple numbing drops and send sent me on my way! I was amazed at how I wasn't feeling any discomfort at all. Until the drops wore off ... Then it sucked. I'm, not gonna lie, if you get PRK, it's gonna be irritating. It doesn't hurt so much as just get really really annoying for a while. I went to go fill my prescription for Percocet at the pharmacy but the doc had forgotten to write the strength on the scrip so it couldn't be filled. By this point Iw as potting in drops every three to four minutes and it was driving me crazy! So we went back to the doctor's office and get that fixed, and he gave me a bottle of Systane and was told to use it sparingly, if at all. I guess it slows the healing process or something. I put a couple drops in my eye the second we got out to the car though, and it helped a lot! After that my brother drove us over to the pharmacy and got the prescription filled and I took a couple Percocet as soon as I could.
The rest of the day was just me lying in bed dealing with the eye thing and trying to sleep and nap. It wasn't that hard with the narcotics in me at that point, and by evening I could get up and walk around the room, no problems at all. I didn't feel I needed the drops anymore, but I kept putting them in auase I was told to so... eh. I dunno. My eyes were feeling great and I could see really well. Standing on my blacony looking out over Spokane I couldn't believe what technology like lasers lets us do these days. How I was seeing everything with my own eyes and not with a lens bending the light to make it right for my eyes.
My friend Marlee came over and we all hung out for a bit playing with music and going to Sonic. I actually drove to Sonic that night cause... cause I could I guess. All you who worry about seeing halos and starbursts at night just look around you at night now and it isn't much worse. I actually don't see starbursts at all after the surgery, just halos. I really think that if you take the time to realize how your vision works before the surgery, it won't shock you after you've had it. It's not THAT much different, really. Wasn't for me anyway.
Day 1
I went in for the day-after appointment and things were looking pretty good. My eyes were light sensitive, and I woke up once that night around 0300 to put some drops in cause my eyes were burning, but a few seconds after the drops were in, I was feeling fine and went back to sleep. The thing I notice the most is that I don't have any kind of dry eye problems at all. I had it more wearing contacts than I have after PRK. Could be the drops I'm putting in, but other than that first day, I haven't had to put in drops other than cause I was told to keep it up.
The doc came in and looked at my eyes, and had me to a vision test. I didn't ask how well I was seeing, but I could only read the top line in the right eye, and the fifth or so line with my left eye.
Didn't really care though. My vision was great!
After the appointment my brother wanted to go to an Army surplus store, so we went there, then we went to the Armory where my unit is based and I got a new Blackhawk STOMP II aid bag with meds and supplies and everything. Good stuff :) I'll write about that in another blog though. After the armory we drove home and I got to sleep most of the way, which was nice. Just keeping your eyes closed really helps with the strain. I've spent almost a majority of my time with my eyes closed, and that's really helped, don't push it too much cause the strain... it gets to you.
Day 2
By the third day I was running around doing stuff, maybe putting in drops every half hour or so, and again, just cause I was told I had to. Only time my eyes hurt was right after I put in the Vigamox, I don't know why. After that, it sorta burns for a bit and my eyes water. But the rest of the time I'm good. I spent the day playing with my little brothers and going through some of my gear I've been issued. As far as vision went, it was really cloudy and hazy, but most of the time I could look at a house a block away and see each individual shingle on their roof. Hazy with sharp vision, if that makes sense. But it fluctuated throughout the day with the norm being hazy the whole time, and blurry in the morning, sharp in the afternoon, and somewhat blurry in the
evening and night. But no pain or discomfort really. Just when I put the drops in.
Day 3
That would be today, and my eyes are feeling great. Hazy still, but pretty sharp for the most part. I haven't tried them out much today cause I've been spending most of my time in bed. But I typed up this whole thing today without causing much eye strain, whereas the first time I tried this (yesterday) I only got the first paragraph done. So it's looking good, I'm excited and I'll keep posting about how it went.
Day 4
I'm staying at the Winston's tonight, and probably the rest of the weekend. When I went to the appointment today they took the bandage contact lenses off my eyes and put some numbing drops in. I was seeing 20/60 in each eye which isn't really good enough for driving, but I thought I could make it home ok. But then after calling Nathan to hang out with him till I went home, I started driving to his house and my vision went even worse than when I was wearing glasses and would have them off! And worse than 20/400 is pretty bad... I just followed a big black blur in front of me all the way out of Spokane and somehow it even took the Hatch Exit. When it's brake lights (red hazy, blurry blobs) came on, I hit mine, when it stopped, I did too. I never once could make out a stop light and could only barely tell where I was in town. The only part I had real trouble with was when I was turning into to Winston's neighborhood cause of how the entrance has been redone! I'm pretty sure I just about drove into the sign at the entrance, but I made it. And then I put the contacts they had given me just in case back in my right eye cause it hurt the worst.
The craziest thing about all of this is how much my vision has fluctuated. Yeah it hurts, yes it's blurry, but it's never constant! One minute I'll be seeing decent, the next it's all blurry. And then just one eye is good, then they switch. I can't see close up, or far away. Kinda ridiculous, but I think I'm going to be staying here this weekend cause it's not worth driving home just to come back up on Monday. Plus... I don't entirely know if I could get home right now.
Day 8
Yesterday at my appointment I was seeing 20/25 in my right eye, and 20/30 in my left. So that's some good improvement from Day 5 where I was seeing 20/60. It's still hazy, and I'm light sensitive, but it's come a long way in just the past two days. I had to have the doctors put in new contacts cause seeing without them right now hurt! So they put some bandage contacts back in to let my eye heal some more before removing them. Anytime I had the contacts out this weekend it felt like I had a grain of sand in my eye, and I couldn't keep them open. Sunday (Day 7) was ok cause I had put the contacts back in myself, but they were extremely dry and light sensitive. That night I took the contacts out thinking I could get the drops to the center of the cornea better, but... it hurt. And made them even more dry! I went through a box of the Bion Tears in two days, whereas before I had gone through one box over a week! Last night I could see perfect out of my right eye. By that I mean it wasn't blurry. Both eyes are still rather hazy cause the new epithelium hasn't adhered totally to the cornea I guess. Or something called SPK, but I didn't know enough at the time to really ask. Sometimes I wish doctors wouldn't give the dumbed down version of stuff to me and just say, "Well, the haziness you're experiencing is superficial punctate keratitis as the epithelium regrows." Then I'd know for sure and can learn more, as opposed to, "Well it'll be hazy for a bit longer but just hang in there little buddy! It'll get better soon!" I think I'm gonna start asking for things explained medically.
Day 14
Two weeks after the surgery my vision is pretty good! It's actually great in my left eye and really good in the right. On my checkup last Thursday I was seeing 20/25 in the left, and 20/30+ in the right, but with some difficulty. Now I'd have no problem getting that and I'm probably doing much better. I have another appointment tomorrow and I'll know for sure how well I'm healing.
At that last checkup my eyes were healing too fast, so I was put on a stronger steroid (Econo Pred) and told to put one drop in every other hour and as soon as I did that it's been getting steadily better, and the haze has gone away. Halos aren't so bad, and I've rarely got any double vision. When I do it's just in the right eye. So yeah, things are great! My eyes still get tired if I use them too much watching an intense movie or using the computer too long, but that's gotten better and really isn't bothering me anymore.
Today I found some pictures that sort of help describe what complications or difficulties you may have or go through after the surgery. Mine are all but gone, but below is pretty much what I was seeing for about the first week and a half after surgery. I had issues just posting the pic, so here're the links:
Glare
Blur
Double Vision
Halo
Starbursts
On most days, I had all those going, in addition to light sensitivity and the itching, burning, "there's something in my eye" feeling. It wasn't really horrible, it just made it hard to keep my eyes open. Totally worth it though... the irritation and discomfort went away and now I have great sight with no glasses or contacts! And no flap issues that could ever arise. And I can still put in for SF. So... basically it was worth a little bit of discomfort, if you're ever thinking about doing it and would give up a week or two of comfort for great vision, do it.
Day 17
At the doc's office I was seeing 20/30 in my left eye and 20/15 in my right. The ghosting is all but gone, along with the haziness. Basically, I'm loving it. It was worth the pain and discomfort and worry and money. All the way. And I leave tomorrow for PDT with the benefit of not having to worry about contacts or glasses like I did last time, I love it!
Another great thing about PRK is that there's no flap cut in your eye. The doc scrapes off the top layer of your eye called the epithelium and then uses the laser and lets your eyes regrow the epithelium over the treatment site. After it's healed it's like nothing ever happened to the eye. Below I'll go through the days and how I'm doing each day...
DAY 0
The day of surgery... it kinda sucked. But I was so happy to be able to see I didn't really care! Soon as the laser stopped firing at my right eye all I could see was a hazy whiteness with points of light in it; like if you held a sheet up to your eyes and tried looking through it. But as soon as the doctor flushed my eyes with water to remove any tissue that was still on the surface I could see the ceiling perfectly! Sharper than I'd been seeing after a few weeks of glasses even! It was amazing! The doc and technicians joked that they could see my heartbeat in my temple, chest, and neck, I was so nervous just trying to focus on that blinking light and when the laser started firing it became near impossible for me to see. I knew the laser would shut off and was tracking my eye, but it still scared me.
So after the surgery the doc had a few words for me and then I was off to the post op nurse who put some more drops in my eye and explained how to take care of my eyes for the next few days. She had to stop and correct herself a lot cause most everyone who goes through there has LASIK, and the post op care differs a little. But then she put in a couple numbing drops and send sent me on my way! I was amazed at how I wasn't feeling any discomfort at all. Until the drops wore off ... Then it sucked. I'm, not gonna lie, if you get PRK, it's gonna be irritating. It doesn't hurt so much as just get really really annoying for a while. I went to go fill my prescription for Percocet at the pharmacy but the doc had forgotten to write the strength on the scrip so it couldn't be filled. By this point Iw as potting in drops every three to four minutes and it was driving me crazy! So we went back to the doctor's office and get that fixed, and he gave me a bottle of Systane and was told to use it sparingly, if at all. I guess it slows the healing process or something. I put a couple drops in my eye the second we got out to the car though, and it helped a lot! After that my brother drove us over to the pharmacy and got the prescription filled and I took a couple Percocet as soon as I could.
The rest of the day was just me lying in bed dealing with the eye thing and trying to sleep and nap. It wasn't that hard with the narcotics in me at that point, and by evening I could get up and walk around the room, no problems at all. I didn't feel I needed the drops anymore, but I kept putting them in auase I was told to so... eh. I dunno. My eyes were feeling great and I could see really well. Standing on my blacony looking out over Spokane I couldn't believe what technology like lasers lets us do these days. How I was seeing everything with my own eyes and not with a lens bending the light to make it right for my eyes.
My friend Marlee came over and we all hung out for a bit playing with music and going to Sonic. I actually drove to Sonic that night cause... cause I could I guess. All you who worry about seeing halos and starbursts at night just look around you at night now and it isn't much worse. I actually don't see starbursts at all after the surgery, just halos. I really think that if you take the time to realize how your vision works before the surgery, it won't shock you after you've had it. It's not THAT much different, really. Wasn't for me anyway.
Day 1
I went in for the day-after appointment and things were looking pretty good. My eyes were light sensitive, and I woke up once that night around 0300 to put some drops in cause my eyes were burning, but a few seconds after the drops were in, I was feeling fine and went back to sleep. The thing I notice the most is that I don't have any kind of dry eye problems at all. I had it more wearing contacts than I have after PRK. Could be the drops I'm putting in, but other than that first day, I haven't had to put in drops other than cause I was told to keep it up.
The doc came in and looked at my eyes, and had me to a vision test. I didn't ask how well I was seeing, but I could only read the top line in the right eye, and the fifth or so line with my left eye.
Didn't really care though. My vision was great!
After the appointment my brother wanted to go to an Army surplus store, so we went there, then we went to the Armory where my unit is based and I got a new Blackhawk STOMP II aid bag with meds and supplies and everything. Good stuff :) I'll write about that in another blog though. After the armory we drove home and I got to sleep most of the way, which was nice. Just keeping your eyes closed really helps with the strain. I've spent almost a majority of my time with my eyes closed, and that's really helped, don't push it too much cause the strain... it gets to you.
Day 2
By the third day I was running around doing stuff, maybe putting in drops every half hour or so, and again, just cause I was told I had to. Only time my eyes hurt was right after I put in the Vigamox, I don't know why. After that, it sorta burns for a bit and my eyes water. But the rest of the time I'm good. I spent the day playing with my little brothers and going through some of my gear I've been issued. As far as vision went, it was really cloudy and hazy, but most of the time I could look at a house a block away and see each individual shingle on their roof. Hazy with sharp vision, if that makes sense. But it fluctuated throughout the day with the norm being hazy the whole time, and blurry in the morning, sharp in the afternoon, and somewhat blurry in the
evening and night. But no pain or discomfort really. Just when I put the drops in.
Day 3
That would be today, and my eyes are feeling great. Hazy still, but pretty sharp for the most part. I haven't tried them out much today cause I've been spending most of my time in bed. But I typed up this whole thing today without causing much eye strain, whereas the first time I tried this (yesterday) I only got the first paragraph done. So it's looking good, I'm excited and I'll keep posting about how it went.
Day 4
I'm staying at the Winston's tonight, and probably the rest of the weekend. When I went to the appointment today they took the bandage contact lenses off my eyes and put some numbing drops in. I was seeing 20/60 in each eye which isn't really good enough for driving, but I thought I could make it home ok. But then after calling Nathan to hang out with him till I went home, I started driving to his house and my vision went even worse than when I was wearing glasses and would have them off! And worse than 20/400 is pretty bad... I just followed a big black blur in front of me all the way out of Spokane and somehow it even took the Hatch Exit. When it's brake lights (red hazy, blurry blobs) came on, I hit mine, when it stopped, I did too. I never once could make out a stop light and could only barely tell where I was in town. The only part I had real trouble with was when I was turning into to Winston's neighborhood cause of how the entrance has been redone! I'm pretty sure I just about drove into the sign at the entrance, but I made it. And then I put the contacts they had given me just in case back in my right eye cause it hurt the worst.
The craziest thing about all of this is how much my vision has fluctuated. Yeah it hurts, yes it's blurry, but it's never constant! One minute I'll be seeing decent, the next it's all blurry. And then just one eye is good, then they switch. I can't see close up, or far away. Kinda ridiculous, but I think I'm going to be staying here this weekend cause it's not worth driving home just to come back up on Monday. Plus... I don't entirely know if I could get home right now.
Day 8
Yesterday at my appointment I was seeing 20/25 in my right eye, and 20/30 in my left. So that's some good improvement from Day 5 where I was seeing 20/60. It's still hazy, and I'm light sensitive, but it's come a long way in just the past two days. I had to have the doctors put in new contacts cause seeing without them right now hurt! So they put some bandage contacts back in to let my eye heal some more before removing them. Anytime I had the contacts out this weekend it felt like I had a grain of sand in my eye, and I couldn't keep them open. Sunday (Day 7) was ok cause I had put the contacts back in myself, but they were extremely dry and light sensitive. That night I took the contacts out thinking I could get the drops to the center of the cornea better, but... it hurt. And made them even more dry! I went through a box of the Bion Tears in two days, whereas before I had gone through one box over a week! Last night I could see perfect out of my right eye. By that I mean it wasn't blurry. Both eyes are still rather hazy cause the new epithelium hasn't adhered totally to the cornea I guess. Or something called SPK, but I didn't know enough at the time to really ask. Sometimes I wish doctors wouldn't give the dumbed down version of stuff to me and just say, "Well, the haziness you're experiencing is superficial punctate keratitis as the epithelium regrows." Then I'd know for sure and can learn more, as opposed to, "Well it'll be hazy for a bit longer but just hang in there little buddy! It'll get better soon!" I think I'm gonna start asking for things explained medically.
Day 14
Two weeks after the surgery my vision is pretty good! It's actually great in my left eye and really good in the right. On my checkup last Thursday I was seeing 20/25 in the left, and 20/30+ in the right, but with some difficulty. Now I'd have no problem getting that and I'm probably doing much better. I have another appointment tomorrow and I'll know for sure how well I'm healing.
At that last checkup my eyes were healing too fast, so I was put on a stronger steroid (Econo Pred) and told to put one drop in every other hour and as soon as I did that it's been getting steadily better, and the haze has gone away. Halos aren't so bad, and I've rarely got any double vision. When I do it's just in the right eye. So yeah, things are great! My eyes still get tired if I use them too much watching an intense movie or using the computer too long, but that's gotten better and really isn't bothering me anymore.
Today I found some pictures that sort of help describe what complications or difficulties you may have or go through after the surgery. Mine are all but gone, but below is pretty much what I was seeing for about the first week and a half after surgery. I had issues just posting the pic, so here're the links:
Glare
Blur
Double Vision
Halo
Starbursts
On most days, I had all those going, in addition to light sensitivity and the itching, burning, "there's something in my eye" feeling. It wasn't really horrible, it just made it hard to keep my eyes open. Totally worth it though... the irritation and discomfort went away and now I have great sight with no glasses or contacts! And no flap issues that could ever arise. And I can still put in for SF. So... basically it was worth a little bit of discomfort, if you're ever thinking about doing it and would give up a week or two of comfort for great vision, do it.
Day 17
At the doc's office I was seeing 20/30 in my left eye and 20/15 in my right. The ghosting is all but gone, along with the haziness. Basically, I'm loving it. It was worth the pain and discomfort and worry and money. All the way. And I leave tomorrow for PDT with the benefit of not having to worry about contacts or glasses like I did last time, I love it!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Nous Défions
The United States Military is an all volunteer force. The decision to serve has been mine and mine alone. Stating that our leaders send the children of our country off to war implies that we as members of the military are not capable of decision making and have no free will. Our President did not force my father's oldest son to go off to war. I made the decision to serve, and thereby put myself in a position to uphold the oath I made when I enlisted. By all means, please continue to point out the President's mistakes and shortcomings and preach about pride, war, killing, hate, greed and hypocrisy; But give credit where credit is due. No one can force anyone to serve in the military. It is our choice. It is my choice. I love this life. For those of you who take what we do for granted, don't care, or don't even think about us that's fine. Not everyone is cut out for this, including some that fill our ranks. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to serve in the military, or putting your life ahead of a duty you don't want to do. But don't take away the pride we have in what we do by saying we're mindless pawns in a bigger political game where we're commanded to act with no choice of our own.
Nous Défions.
Nous Défions.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
First post
My National Guard unit received our official mobilization orders to deploy to Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom this last Wednesday, and now seemed to be a good a time as any to begin writing. There are moments in life I don't think I'll ever forget... as it pertains to this blog, I'd say the moment I enlisted and sat back in my chair realizing what I'd just committed myself to was a big one. And so was March 19th, 2008 when I walked into the orderly room at the Yakima Firing Center to hear SFC Snodgrass quietly announce, "Well, looks like we just got our Mob Order..." It seemed almost surreal standing on the drill floor a few minutes later as a Company Commander from one of the Battalions read the Mobilization Order to everyone there at the Combat Lifesaver Class I was helping instruct. Did everyone already know we were on alert and most likely going? Yeah, we did. But this made it official, and the gravity of the situation came to bear a lot harder than I thought it would.
"So... we're going to war..."
I've always kept a journal, but rather than writing it down in a book for my life to be read at a later date, this should be a better way for people in my life to know what's going on as it happens. There are still a few months before we head out, but there's going to be a lot of change and training for me in the next few months so... this is the beginning.
"So... we're going to war..."
I've always kept a journal, but rather than writing it down in a book for my life to be read at a later date, this should be a better way for people in my life to know what's going on as it happens. There are still a few months before we head out, but there's going to be a lot of change and training for me in the next few months so... this is the beginning.
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